I was just lying on my bed, then I remembered one article that took me months of crafting to put together "I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM". That article was a reflection of the way I felt at that moment. And obviously I'm the person, I'm gradually becoming. But lately chain reaction of events is making me ask my self several questions. Questions I don't even think I have gotten the answers. Questions like "Who am I".
Lately, I'm beginning to wonder why some certain things do not bother me anymore. Some people say your level of non-chalancy over certain issues is alarming. Well I'll just shake my head and say; Maybe is part of growing up. But in the real sense I don't even know who I am again. I've become so. I don't even know, I cannot even take my decisions, before once I've weighed the pros and cons of any situation, take my decision and make peace with so as to live without regrets, I just charge like a bull. But now I don't even know again, everything doesn't seem right. If it were a game of cheese, I've been checkmated more than a thousands times.
Deep down, it feels like there's a void, a blank space between, a void that needs to be filled. There's a saying it's not the drug that makes a drug addict. But the need to escape reality. But at the end of the day, the drugs, alcohol and other vices doesn't fill the void, you just temporarily escape your reality. You take alcohol, you do drugs, you get high after a couple of hours the euphoria dies down, you are returned to your reality, that reality I sometimes don't wish to live in. But what choice do we have?, at one point or the other we've got to live the reality, but not when it's too late.
We are in a society where everyone is constantly saying you could have done better, but they fail to ask, did you even enjoy doing that which they say you could have done better doing?. Do they even know if you are comfortable with your actions?. But they fail to realise most of the time, we live the dreams of our caregivers and end up not living ours, many people constantly live in chronic depression as a result of many things which includes not living their dreams, some just give up and quit fighting, while some just keep fighting till their dreams come true.
I believe everyone has a potential, so I'll tell you "Go into the world discover your passion, live your dream and feel the passion"