Saturday, July 18, 2015
Most annoying thing about wearing glasses is being asked; "how many are they," with the questioner placing his fingers in front of me.
For heavens sake! The fact that I wear glasses doesn't mean that am mentally deranged, isn't that obvious? When I look I don't see double, or triple, I see blurs. Everything is blurry not double (rry). To understand what a person wearing glasses sees simply think back to when you were in secondary school and that evil senior, preferably labour prefect (mean), slaps you. Those first few seconds after the slapping, now kindly separate the stars from everything else. Is everything clear? Of course it isn't. That what I see when am not wearing glasses.
I use my glasses for everything except bathing and sleeping, although I still wear glasses in my dreams. Am a careless person especially when it comes to my glasses -a nice population of microorganisms make a living on my glasses, according to a final year student of microbiology whose project work involved collecting specimen from people's glasses, now am afraid of wearing the damn thing. I don't even have that piece of cloth - I don't know the name- that's used to clean glasses instead I use clothes or hankies.
Second most annoying thing about wearing glasses is having to look for your glasses without your glasses. Imagine looking for something with your blurred vision. It's quite frustrating.
I remember, quiet vividly, when I first went to the see an optometrist, that was 10 or 9 years ago. The optometrist was young, light skinned, slender, petite, yes of course, she had a lisp as if she was 'forming'. After examining me and asking me to read from a chart on a wall, she recommended glasses. Boy! was my mum against it?
A little side note about my mum. My mum is the most dramatic person you'd ever met and she's far more knowledgeable about medicine and doctoring than most doctors, at least that's what she said/claim. She has a diagnosis for all sickness and a medicine to go along. I once complained to her that I have been having series of bad dreams and I'd wake up weak with a slight headache. Guess what she said; "Emmynwa, it's malaria oh." Need I tell you more about how I had to take malaria medication just for having bad dreams. Strangely, the dreams stopped. I have learnt not to question her cos she is right at times and going against, or not taking, her advice spells disaster. Please I beg you listen to your mothers, they have these uncanny habit of seeing and feeling stuffs- especially when it comes to there children.
Anyways, back to the optometrist story. The beautiful optometrist urged my mum to allow me make my choice. So she asked me if I wanted glasses or medicines. Duh!!! I want glasses. Which 10 or 11 year old doesn't want glasses? I've always admired other children that wore glasses, especially with a rope fastened to the glasses and placed on their neck, they had these quality ,or rather aura, of looking like they were Oyibo pikin or from rich background and looking intelligent - I seriously wanted to wear glasses and look smart, even though I knew I wasn't.
Needless to say that my mum was irked but she respected my choice and I've come to respect and love her for always allowing me make my own decisions -and mistakes.
Truth be told, my glasses are so much a part of me that I cannot imagine myself without it. Although it is a huge burden but In some ways, I have come to see it as a blessing rather than a cause. Here are some reasons why I like my glasses:
1) it gives my face an innocent appearance. Usually am pronounced innocent without trial because my face looks harmless, thanks to glasses. I once had a problem that involved my school's security. Usually, the bullies in uniforms ask their question with a brain numbing slap, a second question will most likely involve a kick or even a swift tackle to the ground and a third, well I can't just say, but it ends with an injury.
Anyways after seeing me, the security man politely invited me to the security unit for a more polite question, after which I was pronounced a victim of circumstance -which I honestly was in that situation. I was treated like I was fragile an guileless. People assume without even knowing me that am harmless and inconsequential, introverted and a snub.
2) everybody thinks am studious and super smart (even though am not, but who cares?). Only disadvantage here it's in the exam hall not only is it super impossible to copy my neighbors' work because I can't see clearly but also the invigilator always watch me because I might tell others, when me sef the find where to copy smh.
3) I get to escape from doing certain works. I can count how many times I took part in school labor at my secondary school.
4) last, but the most important, it makes me handsome. Show bobo!!!
Me and my glasses are like two peas in a pod. It's so much a part of me that, as much as its a huge inconvenience, I'd miss it if I were to stop wearing em.